“Next time you come to my house to kill me, make sure I'm home first!” - Chilli Palmer in Be Cool

Elmore Leonard is the man. Look at these lines from his books.

“A man can be in two different places and he will be two different men. Maybe if you think of more places he will be more men, but two is enough for now.”
– Valdez Is Coming

“It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to sound like it does.”
– Freaky Deaky

“I spent most of my dough on booze, broads and boats and the rest I wasted.”
– LaBrava

“You never know what somebody might tell you, chris said, when they think you’re somebody else.”
– Freaky Deaky

“There were a lot of terms you had to learn, as opposed to the shylock business where all you had to know how to say was “Give me the fuckin money”.”
– Get Shorty

“when you’re really cute that’s all you have to be, you make a career out of it. someone asks you what you do, you say, ‘nothing. i’m cute.”
– Killshot

“Now I’ve been shot at three times before. Twice on purpose and once by accident. And I’m still here. And I’m gonna be here for as long as I want to be”
– Get Shorty

“Bo Catlett: Harry called you his associate. What exactly does that mean? I mean, I never heard your name, or read it in Variety, or The Star, or anyplace.
Chili Palmer: It’s what he said, I’m his associate.
Bo Catlett: You must bring something heavy to the deal.
Chili Palmer: I do: ME. ”
– Get Shorty

“Chili Palmer: How did you get in here?
Ray Bones: It was easy. I told ’em I was you, I acted real stupid and they believed me.”
– Get Shorty

“Elliot Wilhelm: When are you going to call me?
Chili Palmer: When your phone rings.”
– Be Cool

“I once asked this literary agent, uh, what kind of writing paid the best… he said, “Ransom notes.” ”
– Get Shorty